Captain Hops

My son’s birthday party was yesterday. He’s two. Because of this, I thought I would make a quick list of things that are wrong with childrens toys today. I have been stewing over this since Christmas, but the birthday presents finally put me over the edge.

1. Packaging - Is it really necessary to use so much, tape, plastic, wire ties, twist ties, and screws to keep a toy in the package? I mean, seriously, the toy won’t even hold my son’s attention for the amount of time it takes me to open the packaging. You shouldn’t need tools to open a cardboard box.
2. Batteries - Are there any toy companies left that make toys that don’t need batteries? I swore I would never say this next phrase, but… When I was a kid, we made our own noises for cars, trucks and trains.
3. Volume Control - For the love of God, would it kill toy companies to design volume control into a toy. These days, toys have only one volume level - excruciatingly loud.
4. On/Off Switch - You’d think this would be a no-brainer, but you would be shocked about how many toys do not have on/off switches. I need a break, dammit.
   

I guess the toy companies spent all their budgets on packaging material and didn’t have enough money left over for bonus features like power buttons and volume control.

I am not sure what the solution is to this, a boycott might get the toy companies attention, but what do you get the kid instead? Socks? That’s just mean. Books? Don’t get me started on what’s wrong with childrens books today. I am thinking about teaching my kid to bite, so he won’t be as popular and will therefore get less gifts next year.

What do you think?


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